Top 3 Attributes I want to nurture in myself: Tenderness

I want to get the most difficult one out of the way first.

When Ange and I were talking about revamping the site and discussing new posts etc, one on our list was "Top 3 Attributes To Look For In A Guy". That's going to be a very interesting and fun lot of posts to write but what we figured out is that we can't write about those things before we figure out what we have to alter and change in ourselves first. It's like something I heard about once- where instead of asking God to change someone to fit you, you ask God to help get yourself ready and change the things about yourself that need changing first, before you ask God to help you with the other person. Log in your own eye and all that.

I want to cultivate tenderness in me. I recognise that it's something I need to change or at least start to change before I can even think of getting into a relationship because as much as I'd like to think men are made from iron and steel, they're flesh and blood, just like me and they can be hurt by my actions. Coming from a family of three girls, you'd think that I shouldn't have a problem with this but I do. I guess not having any boys in the family, someone had to be the tough as nails one.

As I get older though, the more I see the need, a real need for me to soften up. Not from some misplaced idea that I need to go all girly and gushy to score a guy, but from the realisation that if I want to respect people (guy and girl), if I want to grow as a person and if I'm to let anyone get close to me, I have to nurture tenderness in me. The kind of tenderness that knows what to say to someone who's crying. The kind of tenderness that instinctively heads for the person who's feeling down in a crowded room. The kind of tender strength that someone needs when they're tired of being the strong one all the time. The tenderness that develops from taking the gentle route instead of the harsh one and from listening rather than talking. I don't have it yet. But I want to have it.