If you've been following my personal blog, you'll know that I've made more than a few decisions lately- ranging from small to life-changing. We make so many of them in one day that sometimes, their impact on us can be discounted, overlooked.
The decision to have toast or cereal for breakfast? Chosen within a minute. The decision to change uni courses? A good solid three months. Why is it that some decisions, like deciding to marry someone are so easily made by some people and others waver in indecision over what shoes to wear that day? Of course, it's an issue of priorities and there are times where, to quote my pastor- "You know and you know and you know". Of COURSE you have to marry this awesome man of God- there isn't any way that you'd say no. Of COURSE you have to wear the silver shoes with that outfit- there just isn't a choice =P I know, I take this all very tongue-in-cheek at times but that's what you like about me. Ahem.
Other times though, the thoughts go whirling in your head like a tornado and you're playing Devil's advocate with yourself. Yes, No, Maybe, Depends- they go swirling around and around and you don't know up from down. To borrow from the format of a friend's post on Facebook, more often than not, the scenario inside a head can be like two people playing verbal ping-pong. (Jess is my rational side, J is the side that runs rampant with dreams, imaginations and hates drinking water.)
Jess: So, we have a decision to make today. Let's weigh out the pros and cons shall we? Got a pen? How about a roll of that yellow architects paper you love so much? Let me just draw up this list...where's that ruler...ah yes, there we go, now we have a list. What's number one J?
Jess: Pay attention! My goodness, your attention span sucks.
J: What decision? I don't know anything about a decision. OK, fine but do we have to do this now? Sorry, I'm just in the land of denial. What decision?
Jess: . . . . . .
J: FINE. I'm just going to say the opposite of whatever you think because this sucks and I don't want to make the decision. However, you can't make the decision without me either.
Jess: *grabs a knife*
J: Oi, it's called playing devil's advocate, leave me alone.
On and on it goes, where does it stop, nobody knows. That's where social customs like eeny, meeny, miney moe come from. Don't want to make a decision? OK, let's leave it up to chance and take what's dealt to us. The church tells us to wait on God for all decisions, however, both you and I know that very often, God sounds exactly like that inner voice of yours. Or you sound like God and the lines become all blurry.
I'm not saying that all decisions are like this- there are plenty of decisions I've made because I could see so clearly that it was the direction I had to go- God couldn't have made it more clear than if He'd placed a giant green neon arrow going YES! I'm asking about those decisions that are so murky you can't see the sun through them. What do you do? How do you handle it?
For me, one step at a time. Sounds morose but even the greatest leaders of the world, making huge decisions every day- they still start off their day by putting one leg at a time through their pants.