Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Indefinite hiatus

Jess and I have been swamped with the monster of uni, and blogging has to be put on hold. Thus, we have reached a decision to put SFTW on an indefinite hiatus, until we are able to find the time to write again.

With that, it's been a privilege to share this little corner of the intarwebs with you.

Till next time, live long and prosper.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Favourites of the moment: Link loves!

The mummy bloggers. Because they formed some crazy support system over the internet, and for the mums staying home alone with a crying baby (or crying babies), knowing that she is not alone is so valuable that it is possibly God-sent. And why wouldn’t anyone want to ogle at cute baby pictures? But no, not enough to make me clucky yet.

 

My pick: Dooce and Karen Cheng.

 

The random articles. And I love lists. And random facts to throw at people in conversations. And when I accumulate enough useless knowledge, I can go compete in some trivial pursuit championships. And yes, be an interesting person.

 

My pick: cracked.com and mentalfloss.

 

The chick bloggers. It’s like durian – either you love it or you don’t. I admit I read them. Why? I’m not sure. And that is very possibly the answer that 50% of readers would tell you (I think). Maybe it’s just the innate nature to be a busybody and know about others’ lives. And if they let you do so by publishing them online, what’s stopping you from not looking? I could insert some theory I conjure up here, but it’s alright.

 

My pick: xiaxue and cheesie. (They give makeup/hair tutorials!)

 

 

What’s your favourites at the moment? Please share. (:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Question: Is it against God if I choose to not have kids? – My take

I’ve been contemplating this question for the past week, after Jess put it up.


(Pardon the poorly constructed post. School’s been drowning me brain.)


I have not felt clucky (not that I can remember in my life anyway), but neither have I abhored kids and wished they would go from babies straight into adults. And if that is so, I might very well wish that people be born and die straight away. But as you can see, there will then be no point in life anymore.


I don’t think I have a sound argument for this, maybe not even a sound opinion. I suppose when God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, it is probably the most in-your-face command to have kids (what else do you or can you multiply?). And I like to think that it is human nature to want to have kids, some time or other. How else did mankind sustain themselves for so long? (Unfortunately I myself found shooting back the last few statements I made. GG, Angel.) Also, does it ever matter what we want, and when did what we want turn out to be the best for us?


Also I think it’s a sequential thing.. you want to be with the one you love, and make ‘legacies’ and just products of your love, evidence of your love for each other. It is only when this world has corrupted the perspective of love, marriage and sex, that so many ‘grey areas’ surfaced.


God ultimately gave us the freedom of choice. And hello, contraception. We choose what we want to do – He wouldn’t zap me for not having kids. I don’t think it’s against God to not want kids. Kid(s) aren't the missing piece in your life that will make your life complete after all.


Whether we want kids or not, if they come around, we just have to deal with it. I just want to see it as something that comes when it comes. I’m sure we are not the first group of people to have thought about it. Humans probably had thought about it for so many years and we still exist – we’ll be fine. Also, so long as God gets centre place, first place, what comes and what doesn’t come will not matter that much anymore. If kids come, the bible did say that they are blessings from God, and well, if God blesses you, why not take that blessing (obviously that blessing is a very complex and probably irritating one)?


But of course, whatever God throws in my way, is what is best for me. Husband, no husband, kid, no kids.


Do I want kids now? No, not really. But I suppose, check back with me in 20 years and see how things have changed or not.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Question: Is it against God if I choose to not have kids?

"Procreate. It's not a dirty word Leo, it's all over the Bible. So we can procreate."

-PARADE, a musical

That's my question this week. Is it going against God's law if I choose to marry someone and then we both decide to not have children? First and foremost- it's selfish isn't it? To have all the joys (apparently....) of a marriage and to choose to not continue the line. Or is it? I really don't have a strong idea on all of this- it's just the more I see squalling, temper-tantruming children these days, the less inclined I am desire children in the future. I hate the ages between well...2 til 18 really. I was joking with my sister and she said the solution is called boarding school.

I read an interesting quote from Ricky Gervais (talented English comedian) the other day. "We never wanted to be parents, with all that entails: the loss of freedom, total dependency." I can totally empathise with that. I do agree though that it's all a bit early to be thinking of this stuff but I want to know if it's expressly said anywhere in the Bible that we have to have children. I want to know my potential options.

Scenario 1: Marry someone you love. Have kids because you feel that it's the next step and it's expected of you but you really aren't looking forward to having the next 18+ years of your life tethered. End up regretting what could have been (but not taking it out on your lovely adorable kids). You'll still have an awesome fulfilling life, just in a different direction than you thought.

Scenario 2: Marry someone you love. Decide mutually to not have kids and have the freedom, time, finances and sleep to undertake everything you've wanted for your life. Yes, you will end up regretting not having children every now and then but then again, that's what your nephews and nieces are for (and you can hand them back at the end of the day).

Yes, this is incredibly black and white but give me the allowance of not having had enough experience to get to any shades of grey just yet.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Lies!: Some more thoughts

To take the point raised in the first comment of Jess's post a step further, say we tell a lie and our conscience twinges. That's a good sign, right? So we repent and say "Sorry, God." and move on. Then one day, we're in another tight spot. Now here's the test: Would we lie again?


Some might say "yes" - bless you, you're honest enough to admit it (ironic, no?) - and go through the whole conscience-twinging-saying-sorry-God routine. There is a problem though: Could this then become a comfortable escape route ("So long as I say sorry to God it'll be okay.")?


Others will say "no" - you're either brave souls and I salute you, or you're lying (but of course you can explain everything).


So are we stuck between a rock and a hard place? Or is this a choice between a narrow white path and a wide greyscaled road? Faced by a screaming toddler and the option of saying that Coles is out of Mars bars, I for one will freely admit that the fib is the option that appeals. Because, you know, Murder is also a Sin.


The chamberpot has hit the rotating chandelier.



Further discussion by Jess:

I had a very similar discussion a few nights ago with a friend. If we continue to rely on God's good grace to get us out of scrapes then does that not make God's grace cheap? It's not as if we chase after temptation, if we can, we try to avoid it (does that mark us as Christians?) My brain hurts.


We're called to be perfect. Yes. Are we perfect? NO. The only person to have been utterly perfect is Jesus Christ- we can only strain to get there. None of us are guaranteed to reach even a tenth of His perfection, it's impossible. How can we? We are wired for sin. Therein lies the power of God's grace and the power of His redemption, despite our failings, our times of drunkenness with friends, our lying, our smoking illicit substances, our pettiness, our swearing, our impatience, our frustrations and our endless seduction into the world of today, He chooses to extend the hand of grace and mercy to us.


It's when we get into the mindset that "God won't sweat the small stuff" and He'll turn an indulgent blind eye to our "wee itty-bitty" dealings that inevitably, we will get caught out and smacked in the face with the contents of the chamberpot we've been secreting under the bed.

Lies!

I've just had to lie my way into a location to get photos for a class project. Without the lie, I wouldn't be able to complete my project. I know it's wrong but..... is there ever justification for said lies? The lie hurts no-one but of course, I cannot see the repercussions for the future. It might end up hurting someone but if I hadn't lied my ass off (telling some massive whoppers- "Hi, I'm an assistant for a director in Perth, looking to stage a theatrical production sometime here in the next year and he's sent me out on a recon assignment...") I would have failed my assignment for uni which would result in a no-graduation for me. Hmmm, the grey area is thickening. 


I guess the trouble with "white" lies is that they can lead to a slippery slope which leads into outright lying (with a malicious or harmful intent). Everyone lies, as a favourite TV doctor with a limp famously proclaims. I've yet to meet a Christian that doesn't lie. Not like telling their mother that they can't pick them up from hospital because they're tied up at work when instead they're Facebooking but little lies like.... "Sorry Davey, we've run out of jelly beans" to avoid a public meltdown at Children's church when he's refused a lolly because he's already massively obese for a 4-yr-old. (Not taken from real life). Do we as Christians try to balance out life, tightrope-walking that line between white lie and BLACKEVILHORRIBLE lie or do we err on the side of caution and make life a lot harder to deal with than it already is?