Top 3 Attributes I want to nurture in myself: Tenderness

I want to get the most difficult one out of the way first.

When Ange and I were talking about revamping the site and discussing new posts etc, one on our list was "Top 3 Attributes To Look For In A Guy". That's going to be a very interesting and fun lot of posts to write but what we figured out is that we can't write about those things before we figure out what we have to alter and change in ourselves first. It's like something I heard about once- where instead of asking God to change someone to fit you, you ask God to help get yourself ready and change the things about yourself that need changing first, before you ask God to help you with the other person. Log in your own eye and all that.

I want to cultivate tenderness in me. I recognise that it's something I need to change or at least start to change before I can even think of getting into a relationship because as much as I'd like to think men are made from iron and steel, they're flesh and blood, just like me and they can be hurt by my actions. Coming from a family of three girls, you'd think that I shouldn't have a problem with this but I do. I guess not having any boys in the family, someone had to be the tough as nails one.

As I get older though, the more I see the need, a real need for me to soften up. Not from some misplaced idea that I need to go all girly and gushy to score a guy, but from the realisation that if I want to respect people (guy and girl), if I want to grow as a person and if I'm to let anyone get close to me, I have to nurture tenderness in me. The kind of tenderness that knows what to say to someone who's crying. The kind of tenderness that instinctively heads for the person who's feeling down in a crowded room. The kind of tender strength that someone needs when they're tired of being the strong one all the time. The tenderness that develops from taking the gentle route instead of the harsh one and from listening rather than talking. I don't have it yet. But I want to have it.

Top 3 Attributes I want to nurture in myself: Ange’s 3rd

Charisma - A good sense of humour. And consequently better storytelling skills.

It’s not that I don’t have a sense of humour.. It’s just that a sense of humour which is funny enough, understandable to most people, and wholesome, is something to desire.

You know how the sad pattern is that the funnier jokes are usually demeaning to some stereotypical groups of people, be it race, hair colour, gender, and very often to do with sex or sexual components. I’d like to think that you can still be funny even without all that – God does have a sense of humour as well, and I will very much like to believe that His brand of humour isn’t demeaning to anyone at all. :D

I seem to excel rather badly in storytelling though, I usually burst out laughing even before the punch line, or perhaps forget the punch line. You know how some people just have that natural talent for storytelling and people just listen to them?  (Thinking about it, I think it’s called charisma.)

Yeah, the 3rd of my 3 attributes I want to nurture in myself is charisma. Not that I don’t have it at all, but I want to develop it more. Not that I am socially inept either, it is just something that I see as valuable in life, especially in my future career, and just hoping to be a well-liked person in general.

Using very church-y terms, to be able to widen our sphere of kingdom influence, I suppose, requires some amount of attractiveness – especially in character. And charisma is one of those qualities that can really draw people to you. Sure people have used it for evil (read: Hitler and most evil leaders really), but imagine that charisma used for good, and for His purpose.

Mmmmm. It’ll be awesome.

SNEAK PREVIEW: SisterhoodFTW 2.0

I suppose the hiatus is getting long enough when people come up to ask “When is your hiatus ending?”. But apparently, one friend was referring to both this site, and Epic coffee dates – both of hiatuses due to exams.

Well then now, exams have passed. And while the both of us start oiling up our blogging engines (oh pun.), I would be absolutely pleased to let you know that SisterhoodFTW Version 2.0 will launch on the 6th of July 2009!

Here’s what’s coming up:

BRAND NEW BLOGSKIN!
BRAND NEW CONCEPT!
BRAND NEW THEMES!
BRAND NEW POSTS!
BRAND NEW GUEST POSTS!

Well we’ll explain more when it comes around. Till then, stay warm (if you’re in Australia) and stay cool (if you’re in Singapore, or anywhere else in the world which is having summer.)

SEE YOU  on 6th July 2009!

HIATUS

Ange and I are beset by assignments, exams, study and academia in general- all sent from the darkest, dankest and most miserable place on earth- university.

With our (hopefully) good stewardship of time, we'll be taking a small break from this to focus on our studies until our exams and assessment periods are over. We're students and therefore very lucky to even be able to study in freedom here. Well, that's what I keep telling myself at 2am poring over my assignments.

See you soon! Keep warm, study hard and afterwards, you can party harder to celebrate that it's all over for half a year.

HOW-TO Fridays: Sneaking Sleep

I consider myself as having a bit of experience when it comes to this matter. 5 years of study at architecture where no-one had sleep, 3 years of WAAPA where no-one has sleep and before moving to the afternoon services at FGA, church early on a Sunday morning where everybody who isn't serving, wants to sleep. All those ways of sneaking in sleep when you should be doing something else. Yes, it does depend quite a bit on context and company but as you'll soon see, there are ways around everything.

Class:

This depends on location, location, location. If you're in a lecture hall of a substantial size, anywhere from middle to back on the sides will serve you well. Pop your files and books in front of you as a barrier, prop your temple on your palm and cover your eyes like you're concentrating. Close eyes and hey presto, a nap whilst appearing that you're concentrating really hard. In no circumstance do you sit dead centre or in the front or in a combination of both. It equals something either being thrown at your head or attention called to you mid-lecture.

If you're sitting in a classroom where the walls are considerably smaller and the teacher in closer proximity, drink a Red Bull. There's no way you can get past the teacher in this case unless you claim a previously undiagnosed case of narcolepsy. Absolutely do not fall asleep with your teacher and guest lecturer sitting right next to you, as I did in my first year at WAAPA, with my design tutor and head of the props department less than a metre from me. i got a lot of stick from my classmates and an enquiry to my health from my tutor.

Library:

This is easier. Find yourself a sunny cubicle away from the masses (3rd floor northern facade of Reid Library at UWA, eastern facade, education stacks at the archi library, anywhere at ECU library because it's dead anyway) position yourself on the tabletop with all valuable goods and belongings carefully stowed away out of eyesight, books and pens strewn about and knock off. Use an iPod or something similar to block out any noise that might happen to creep into a library. Those "only for quiet study" rooms at Curtin- no. Either you snore and people kick you out or your headphones don't work the other way when it comes to keeping your music leaking out.

Party:

Sometimes you don't mean to be a party pooper but you're just so very tired that you can't help it. This now gets tricky. Don't sleep in public, that's a given. If it's out in public somewhere, just don't go. However, if it's a house party- you can sleep if you need. Party with just close friends? Find a bedroom or a couch, ask permission and zone on out. Party with people you don't know and there's more of them than of people you know? Find a room that has a lockable door, find a place to crash and stick a pillow over your head. Very important to find a locked door, doesn't even matter if it's the bathroom (not the toilet though) because whilst you can kip down into the bath-tub in desperate times, you can't un-see 2 randoms getting it on in front of you. Therefore, lock your door.

Church:

Let me preface this with a disclaimer- in no way do I endorse sleeping in church. You're there for a reason, not to snooze. That being said however, we all know that sometimes, life gets the better of you and sitting quietly for 2 hours in a warm, safe location is tantamount to placing a downy feather bed in front of you after an all-nighter. So- how to sleep in church? Scooch on down in your seat, brace your legs against your chair slipping, head onto chest (this is so you don't end up leaning and drooling over the person to your left or right) and doze. If you're in a lecture hall for church, use the above mentioned guide for Class. In no way for both should you be sitting in the front row- spare the pastor some hurt feelings and snooze in the back.